When I think of familiar hurt I think of you.
I think about the familiars ways you use to make me feel
and
how they relate to me wanting to feel these things again.
I feel you when you’re walking close beside me
or
glaring from a far.
Staring through the windows as I watch you smoke that nasty ass cigar.
I feel you.
I feel you when I look in his face and tell him that he couldn’t please me.
Making up some bullshit ass lie
as to why
because
I didn’t want to tell him that he just couldn’t compete.
I feel you.
I feel your presence when you’re in proximity
and the heat left on your body from mine is calling out to me.
I feel it.
I feel it all.
I hurt myself by wondering if you do too.
If you sit close just to taunt me
or
if you only get drunk so you can get use to not feeling, too.
I want to talk to the drunk you and see what he has to say.
Maybe he’ll have answers to my questions
or
maybe I’ll just keep walking away.
But, either way
it would help to explain why I feel so motionless beside you.
Like I’m trapped in a daze
and such is one of those familiar way.
I see the pressure weighing on your shoulders.
I see the loneliness in your core.
I want to be the one to take it away but your attitude has shown me
I can’t anymore.
I feel you even though I don’t want to
and hopefully this message will make this feeling go away.
But I don’t know,
either way
I couldn’t say.
